Sarah, Plain & Tall: Jacob's Perspective
by snacgirl
Summary: A series of additional scenes, told mainly from Jacob's point of view, beginning near the end of the 1st tvm, continuing thru the series and, hopefully, beyond. Most Italic text is taken from the films. I own nothing but a box set of DVDs. Please review.
1. Epiphany

I. Epiphany

"_It's gone! Papa, it's gone!" _

"_Go after her, Papa!" _

His children's words echoed in his ears, over and over, pounding to the rhythm of Jack's hoofbeats as Jacob raced frantically toward the train station.

"_It's gone! Papa, it's gone!" _

"_Go after her, Papa!" _

The six miles between the Whiting farm and the little town of Hayes, Kansas seemed to stretch out forever.

"_It's gone… It's gone…Go after her…" _

When Jacob finally passed the little country church, he recalled yet another plea: _"You cut in! Take Sarah back!"_ How well he remembered that day. He had awoken still angry from the night before, determined to discuss with Sarah her blatant disregard of his wishes, but not until after the picnic. It was one of the highlights of the year and he hadn't wanted to ruin it for Anna and Caleb. He hadn't wanted to dance either. He REALLY hadn't wanted to; not with her, not with anyone…ever again. But when he had heard the indignation in his son's voice and seen the approval in his daughter's nod, he had felt as if he had no choice but to intervene. Once he had begun waltzing, however, it hadn't been nearly as bad as he had imagined. The steps came as naturally to him as breathing. He had actually ended up enjoying it. Not that he had let on, of course; that wouldn't have done at all. But he had not only put aside his anger and refrained from mentioning Sarah's defiance, but he had also allowed her to leave Katherine's things on display without comment. To his surprise, seeing them every day had not been as hurtful as he'd imagined it would be.

As he sped toward town, memories of the following days flooded his mind, each one more pleasant than the last. Then, something made Jacob recall the advertisement he'd placed. It had mentioned only the sharing of a life and the making of a difference. To his credit, he had admitted once (in front of the children, no less) that he was fond of her. He had also told her on more than one occasion that he wanted this to work. She had responded in kind. Why, then, would she leave now? _Especially_ after he had opened up to her the very day before. What did it all mean? If Sarah wasn't leaving, then what _was _she doing? If she was going, why would she leave her trunk and her beloved cat behind? Surely she wouldn't leave without at least saying goodbye to the children? And why had she taken her bag with her? The questions kept tumbling over one another. He closed his eyes for just a moment to try and clear his head.

Something hit him like a bolt and his eyes flew open. He realized that his knee-jerk reaction to Anna's announcement had betrayed his true feelings for Sarah. What he really wanted was much more than someone to look after the children and to share the day-to-day responsibilities of running a farm and a home. His own phrase came back to taunt him. "_A wife,"_ he had explained to Anna and Caleb at supper that evening. _"A wife."_ Yes…that was what he truly wanted. How he had missed Katherine's smile across the table, the scent of her hair, the familiar feel of her lying next to him each night, the taste of her kisses…

He forced Katherine's memory from his mind one more time. That phase of his life was gone forever; it was time to start over. He knew what he had to do now. Provided Sarah wasn't on that train, and if she was, that it hadn't yet left the station. He would stop her. She had accused him once of not needing. He would let her know, once and for all, how untrue that was.


	2. Plans

II. Plans

They broke away from their embrace and smiled at one another. Jacob retrieved the hat he had dropped with one hand, and took Sarah by the other. Together they walked from the train station toward Main Street. When he asked if she had anything else to do before they headed home, she said she needed a few things from Mrs. Parkley's store. He walked her there, told her he had something to do himself, and said he would meet her back at the wagon later. He headed around the corner and down the street to a home at the edge of town which he had not visited in several years.

He knocked on the door and was greeted with a knowing look from the occupant. "I've been expecting you for a while now, Jacob," he heard.

"Oh?" he asked with raised eyebrows. "And why is that, Reverend?"

"Well…sometimes I can just tell about these things. I believe you and Sarah are better suited for each other than you've been willing to admit."

"You certainly have a knack for discernment, sir. I guess you know, then, that I'm here to request your services."

"Yes, I figured as much. When did you have in mind?"

Jacob gave him the date and added, "I would appreciate it if you'd keep this to yourself, though. I'd like it to be a surprise, and I guess you know I don't like being the center of attention."

"Certainly, Jacob. That won't be a problem at all. Do you have the rings yet?"

"No sir. I need to order them today I guess, although I'm not sure how to go about it without causing a stir."

"Well, I'll tell you what, you just leave that to me. I'll get them for you and we can settle up later."

"Really, Reverend? I can't tell you how much that would mean to me."

"Think nothing of it. I'm sure you have plenty else on your mind right now. "

"That I do. Thank you, Reverend. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to collect Sarah from Mrs. Parkley's and be heading back home to the children before dark."

Jacob did just that. Sarah was waiting for him at the wagon, bag in hand. He was still wondering just why she had brought it with her, but didn't want to pry in case it was something she didn't want to tell him about. After all, he was keeping a secret of his own.

As the two travelled back to the farm, their conversation flowed much easier than it had on Sarah's first day in Kansas. She asked Jacob about his childhood dog, Guess, and he told her all about training him and how much he had enjoyed having a loyal companion, especially being an only child. He then inquired about how long she had had her cat, Seal. Sarah told him she had found her as a kitten on a family trip to Vermont to purchase fresh maple syrup. She described the collection process as best she could remember and the procedure fascinated Jacob. That subject led naturally to his bringing up the sorghum harvest again. This time, Sarah didn't balk at his insistence that she not help with the actual gathering of the crop, but listened patiently as he filled her in on everyone's roles in the task. He explained that he would need her, and Anna, to help prepare meals for all those who'd be coming to help. She said she'd be delighted to play hostess and he smiled, content in the knowledge that she would do an excellent job.

There was a break in the conversation and they rode quietly for a few moments, both thinking of the near future. Since they were getting along so well, Sarah thought it a good time to bring up something that had been on her mind ever since the aftermath of the hailstorm. She broke the silence. "Jacob?"

"Yes, Sarah?"

"I'm a little hesitant to bring this up again because I don't want to offend you… but…"

"What would offend me, Sarah?" He asked, having momentarily forgotten all the disagreements they'd had.

Suddenly she remembered that she *had* begun to breach the subject at the train station earlier. That was when he'd interrupted her with his kisses. The thought gave her renewed boldness, so she blurted, "Jacob, I really wish you'd let me help out financially. I have the money from my ticket plus some extra that I brought along for emergencies. I *want* to help. Please don't shut me out on this."

Jacob was astonished. Could she read his mind? "Sarah, you're not going to believe this, but I was just thinking of a way that you could put some of that to use."

"Really! Oh, Jacob! How?"

"It's a surprise."

"Jacob Whiting! Whatever do you mean? How am I supposed to help if you don't tell me?"

"I'll tell you" he laughed. "But you'll have to wait until after supper. It affects the whole family, so I want to include the children in this."

"Oh, alright, if you insist."

"I insist," he said, smiling, rather pleased with himself.

He changed the subject and they spent the rest of the ride alternating between easy conversation and comfortable silences. The miles slipped away and they were home almost before they realized it.


	3. Surprise

III. Surprise

"_Look, Papa! Sarah has brought…the sea!" Caleb exclaimed happily, running over to show the three colored pencils to his father. Jacob smiled and laughed softly, before stepping to Sarah's side. He looked her in the eye, glanced downward quickly to give her a hint of his intentions, and then scooped her up as if to carry her, but instead, he twirled around in a circle with her in his arms..._

After a couple of revolutions Jacob set Sarah down and took her by the hand, leading her up the porch steps. "Let's have supper," he said. "You must all be as hungry as I am." Sarah and Anna went inside, reheated the hearty stew they had left from lunch and fixed a large bowl of mashed potatoes. Jacob and Caleb took the horses to their stalls and fed them. Then Jacob rounded up the sheep while Caleb milked their cow, Mame. As he worked, Jacob smiled to himself, thinking of what he was planning for after the meal.

As usual, Caleb said grace. As the food was passed around, the four of them discussed the day's events. The children asked Sarah what all she had gone to do in town. "The first thing I did was go to Mrs. Parkley's to buy the pencils. Caleb had said that my drawings needed the colors of the storms here since they match the colors of the sea. I can't wait to add them; we can do that together tomorrow and then send the drawings to the Treasures the next time we go to town."

"That sounds like fun, Sarah!" Caleb said.

"Yes, Sarah, I'd like that, too," Anna added. "But what else did you do? You said getting the pencils was the first thing you did."

"Well…" Sarah began, glancing across the table at Jacob. He was grinning from ear to ear, looking the happiest she'd seen him since her arrival a month ago. He nodded. Seeing his approval, she continued. "Anna, I turned in my ticket home. I've decided I won't be needing it." Both children squealed with delight, so much so that Jacob had to settle them down.

"That's enough," he said, although not harshly. "Finish your supper. Then we're all going to work together to get this kitchen cleaned up as quickly as possible."

"All of us?" Caleb asked.

"Yes. Then I want to see everyone in the living room. There's something I need to do, and I want all of you to be a part of it."

"What is it, Papa? What are you going to do?" Excitement always heightened Caleb's inquisitiveness.

"Hush, Caleb. Papa will tell us after supper," Anna corrected him, as she was so used to doing.

"That's right, Caleb. It's a surprise. You'll just have to be patient. Now finish eating. The sooner we're done in here, the sooner you'll find out."

Caleb was too excited to be much help with the chores that evening. He managed to clear the table, but other than that he just stared at Jacob. It had been a long time since he'd seen his father wash dishes. That task had belonged to Anna ever since she'd grown big enough to stand on a chair and reach the water pump. Sarah tried to take over the washing from him but Jacob insisted he do it this once, so she consented to rinse them while Anna dried and put them away.

"Now, Papa?" Caleb asked when they were done.

"Yes, Caleb, now," his father answered, gesturing for the three of them to precede him. The children bounced into the other room and sat down. Sarah was right behind them and found a chair of her own.

Jacob watched them before he followed, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes and slowly exhaling. He'd been anticipating this moment ever since Sarah had kissed him back at the train station that afternoon. Secretly planning it even on their ride home. That kiss, that brief but passionate kiss – in public, he couldn't believe he'd done that! – had eliminated any and all reservations that he may still have had after his frantic ride into town, praying the whole way that she hadn't left; his hesitation melting more and more with every beat of Jack's hooves. But now that the moment was at hand, he was nervous. More nervous than he had been ten years ago. That had been so easy, so natural, so right. This was different. It was _right_, he knew, but it _was_ different. It certainly hadn't come naturally, and letting go of Katherine had been the hardest thing he'd ever done. But he had done it. He knew that Katherine would forever have a place in his heart and mind; after all, he couldn't look at either of his children and not see her in their smiles… Caleb's eyes… the way Anna walked. But once he had acknowledged his feelings of guilt and remorse to Sarah and visited Katherine's grave alone (something he'd never taken the time to do before), he felt an almost physical sense of a burden being lifted and he also felt he could allow himself to look at Sarah not just as "someone to help," but as a woman… as a wife.

All these thoughts raced through Jacob's mind in the few seconds it took him to begin walking. He crossed into the living room and stopped in front of Sarah. He looked deeply into her eyes and the memory of their kiss returned, vanquishing all traces of his nervousness. He extended his right hand and said, "Please stand up for a moment, Sarah."

She looked at him quizzically, but took his hand and complied. As she rose, he lowered himself to one knee. She gasped audibly as a sudden realization hit her.

"Sarah Elizabeth Wheaton," he began with a smile, "will you do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Jacob Thomas Whitting?"

With tears in her eyes and the children's squeals of delight in her ears, she answered, barely able to get the words out, "Yes, Jacob. Oh yes!" The youngsters squealed even louder at her acceptance and began hopping up and down with joy. "Anna! Caleb!" Sarah half-heartedly scolded, looking at Jacob expectantly. She had yet to see him permit such outbursts from his children for long.

"Oh, let them. It's not very often they have a chance to behave like this. Besides, I rather expected it."

Anna and Caleb danced around the couple as Jacob rose to his full height, embraced Sarah, gave her one of what would become his special, sly smiles just for her, and kissed her gently. After a long moment, he pulled away and, raising his voice above the din, said, "I have an announcement to make."

The children settled down just a bit, but they and Sarah all bombarded him at once, their questions overlapping each other. "What is it, Papa?" "What kind of announcement?" "But Jacob, I thought _this _was your surprise…"

"Well, yes, but there's more. Remember you asked me again on the way home today if you could help with anything, and I told you we'd discuss it once we were all together?" Sarah nodded as he continued," There is something…" Here he paused for effect. "Mrs. Parkley will certainly be surprised to see us all in town again so soon, but we're all going back the end of the week to get new clothes." The children looked at each other, then back at their father, grinning widely and clapping their hands. This was a special day indeed. "Sarah, I want you to pick out the most beautiful wedding dress you can find, even if it means ordering it from the Sears and Roebuck catalog. Then, if you have funds left over, I'll let you help with the cost of ours." He sighed, resigning himself to the inevitable – "We're going to cause quite a stir. I wish there was some other way. I arranged with Reverend Green to order our rings for us today so as not to…"

"Jacob! You didn't!" Sarah interrupted, laughing.

"Yes, I did. You've probably figured out by now that I don't like being the center of attention. He offered, and I took him up on it."

"Yes, Jacob, you've made your aversion to people fussing over you quite clear. But what really amazes me is that you've thought everything through so thoroughly. It's as if you've been planning this for quite a while."

"Not so long really. Just since the day Tom was born. After you and I talked in Matthew's barn…well…I did an awful lot of thinking and soul-searching at the cemetery and riding around the countryside that night. I decided then that you were right. But Sarah, I need you to understand that there will always be a special place in my heart for Katherine. I can't look at the children and not see her in their faces…but I have come to realize that I _can_ move on without dishonoring her memory. "

At these last words Anna tugged at her father's sleeve. "Papa?"

"Yes, Anna?"

"Papa, you told me the day Sarah arrived that her coming wouldn't mean we'd forget Mama. It took me a long time to believe that, but I do now."

Sarah held out her arms to the girl, who gave her a hug without hesitation. Then Sarah looked up into the face of the man she had come to love and said, "Jacob, when you rode off that day, I did some thinking myself. I've come to accept the fact that Katherine _will_ always be a part of your lives." Here she paused and glanced around, making eye contact with each of the others before adding, "A part of _our_ family."

Jacob embraced her once again, convinced now more than ever that he had done the right thing in placing that fateful advertisement.


	4. Sleeplessness

IV. Sleeplessness

The very first night she spent on the Whiting farm, Sarah had slept hard out of sheer exhaustion. Since then she'd been sleeping like a baby. Up until the night before the wedding, that is.

That night was spent not at the Whiting farm, but with the Grants. Sarah was of the school of thought that a groom should not see his bride 24 hours before their wedding, so she and Anna packed their clothes and made their way to their neighbors' home after lunch, leaving Caleb with Jacob.

When Matthew and Maggie had gotten married, Matthew had sheepishly asked Jacob to keep Rose and Violet for a week after the wedding so that he and Maggie could have some time to themselves. At the time Kelly was still with the Whitings, employed as their live-in housekeeper. Knowing he'd have help and wanting to assist his best friend, Jacob had consented. Finding himself in the same situation, he had asked Matthew and Maggie to return the favor. They had been more than happy to oblige. Caleb would be joining his sister at the Grants' after the ceremony.

That night, questions snuck into Sarah's thoughts…nagging, hurtful questions: Had she judged Jacob accurately? What would he really expect of her once they were married? Did she really have the ability to raise children? And their wedding night…was she ready for THAT? She, who had no experience. Would he be patient with her? He certainly hadn't been patient with her about other things, not when she'd first arrived anyway. Would this be any different? Had he really changed? All this wondering combined with the anticipation the following day's excitement to keep Sarah awake until the wee hours of the morning.

For quite some time, Jacob had had trouble sleeping. Even before he placed his advertisement, he'd been thinking about being married again. Since Sarah's arrival and their disagreements, doubts had begun mounting up in his mind and they kept him awake night after night. He knew things could never be exactly the same, but he had an almost insatiable desire to know those kinds of things again. It was understandable; he w_as_ just a man, after all. He loved his children as much as any father could, but being single again had been eating at him off and on for almost six years now. Sometimes during the day, a silent tear would roll down his cheek, tracing a line through the dirt and sweat that built up while he was plowing or cleaning out the stalls in the barn. Most often, memories would creep up on him during the night…torturing, even mocking him it seemed. And it wasn't just the physical aspects of marriage he missed. Companionship, the "sharing of a life" as he'd so aptly put it, raising the children together, talking things out and making decisions together, bearing each other's burdens, experiencing each other's joys…all these things had been absent from his life. They had vanished along with Katherine, leaving a seemingly unfillable void. Until the night he proposed, that was.

That night, for the first time since Katherine's death, Jacob slept contentedly. That feeling of having been relieved of a burden allowed him to relax and rest like he hadn't done since before Caleb was born, and it continued until Sarah and Anna left for the Grant farm.

The night before the wedding Jacob suddenly became nervous, wondering if they were really doing the right thing. No, things wouldn't be the same, but just how different would they be? Would the progress that she and Anna had made continue? Would his own feelings for Sarah keep growing? Did she really think of him as a husband in *every* sense of the word? What if she rejected him on their wedding night?

"Get a hold of yourself, man. It's just pre-wedding jitters. You got cold feet before marrying Katherine, too and look how perfect you two were for each other," he scolded himself. Around midnight, he finally accepted the fact that only time would answer his questions and drifted off to sleep.


End file.
